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2008-04-06 - CHARLTON HESTON DIED!!!


I just learned that Charlton Heston died...

My best friend, Chandler (who is sitting right by me), immediately said:

"Maybe now they can finally pry my firearm from my cold dead hand."

Chandler wins. In almost every way.

And also. I had my 33rd birthday party tonight. Good friends, good times.

I have a few hours of booze-sweating before I am able to face the real world. After then: LOTS of pics, and humorous stories.

What what?

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//posted by Carl at 3:09 AM | 0 Comments | Links to this post

2008-03-15 - I am SUPER LAME


O.k. Sorry. Again. I never write in this blog. I should. I spent a lot of time getting it all to work with my web site -- what a waste!

I feel especially bad because there's a WHOLE LOT to talk about! Every few days, something happens that's noteworthy -- and I tell myself "Hey Carl-- YOU SHOULD TOTALLY BLOG ABOUT THAT." Then a week or so passes, and the buzz of that particular news goes away. BLOGGER-MOMENT RUINED FOREVER!

Well, we'll start at the top. I'm unemployed.

I have been full-time Mr. Mom for over a month now. Being at home all day every day with my son is totally different than what I expected. I love Oliver with all my heart, and he is a really super awesome little man -- but OMG, there is so much that I don't like about being stuck inside these walls with his sorry little butt. As my best friend puts it: "babies are alarm clocks with no snooze button." Every day is dominated by his needs (again, I love him and I wouldn't trade the world to be without him -- but WOW).

I get a few moments here and there to get personal things done, but I lose my drive within a few hours and usually "put it off until tomorrow." The reality is slowly sinking in that I need to find a new way to organize my time or my life will remain on pause.

It's almost like I have two needy dependents: my son, and this house. My son lives and breaths, crawls around, screams and needs immediate attention all of the time. This house remains completely still and emotionless -- yet it slowly decomposes and comes into disarray which requires regular, periodic upkeep. It's like fighting a tornado and a hurricane at the same time!

I have applied for about twenty jobs and have been officially declined by one, and have no responses to the others. BLEH. Starting this week, I am officially becoming frustrated.

I think the worst part of my unemployment is that I've slipped into a pretty icky depressive state. I do what I can (take walks, listen to calming music, have hobbies, etc.), but it is still hard to keep a positive outlook. I've been getting quite a bit of therapy through this, and after seeing two doctors and two licensed clinical Psychologists, it has become clear that I suffer from some form of ADD or ADHD (Attention Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder). The docs think that I have one or both of the following: "Classic ADHD" and "Over-Focused ADHD." Each of which are very different and take opposite kinds of medicines to help quell the symptoms. The doctors are wary to prescribe the wrong one because if I take the "Classic" meds, it could throw me into a panicky state, whereas if I take the "Over-Focused" kind, it could cause me to basically become even more scatterbrained and irritable. I am still awaiting a final diagnosis (hopefully this Friday).

I've been battling this my whole life, so putting the spotlight on my "brain dysfunction" isn't really a big deal to me. But combined with this depression I'm suffering, IT SUCKS.

In other news, I've been slowly selling off things over Ebay. It's very interesting what things are valuable and what things are not. Example: I can't sell a like-new high-quality gaming video card to save my life -- but I can sell a BROKEN 14-year-old sound card! Ebay is like another universe to me. It's very interesting to see how it all works.

I'M FINALLY GOING TO UPDATE MY WEBSITE! WOO HOO! Stay tuned, fools!

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//posted by Carl at 10:21 PM | 1 Comments | Links to this post

2008-02-07 - Laid Off...


Well it happened. Finally-- but MUCH SOONER than I expected. I expected to go down with the ship-- but someone decided to let me go early. I'm mad as hell, but don't have any one person or entity to direct my anger. GRAHHH!

I've thought this over and over and logically, it's simple: If I stayed on board for two more weeks, I would have been granted about $3000 in the form of a severance package that I am otherwise ineligible for (Feb. 21st would have been my 1st year anniversary). The store will remain open for at least two more weeks, and thus, if I stayed on board, I should have been able to get my severance.

Somebody at the liquidation company made the decision that they as the days dwindle, the number of on-board managers should dwindle as well. Sure, this makes perfect sense -- I'm down with that. However, what doesn't make sense to me is this: There are five managers at my store. I am the least paid and am one of only two that have the experience of closing another store.

Q. Why get rid of the least paid manager who has the most experience closing this store?

A. Because I have the most to lose!

By keeping me on, and not laying off one of the other, more expensive and less experienced managers, the company would have to dole out about $3000 (minus the $500 - $1000 difference in salary) more than if they have not. Apparently, my work in the store isn't worth the $2000 spread over the next 14 days.

But I contest that notion: All I would have to do was make the company about $200 more per day that I am working. I could have totally pulled it off.

This is where my morals and work ethic seem to differ than those of most. When I ran my video game store, if confronted with the option to either watch the bottom-line and cover my own ass .. or to take a risk for one of my employees, I would "take one for the team." In fact, I've done that on a few occasions: I'd protect one of my employees by putting my own job on the line.

The way I see it is this: When you are in a position of control, you call the shots. If someone above you cries "FOUL" and questions your actions, you MANAGE. You explain why-- and one of the dirty little secrets of management is that you can make any bullshit story you want to get your point across. It all comes down to whether the decision was "right" or "wrong," and if the boss was dumb enough to fall for it.

For me, I protected my PEOPLE, not my bottom-line. And my heart is big enough to see the benefit of losing a relatively small bit of money for the sake of helping a good employee's family.

It is very transparent what is happening here. Save a dollar. My work ethic does not apply because I don't make those hard decisions. Somewhere up the chain, someone is making a few hundred dollars more than they would have if they had let me stay on a few more weeks.

HEY, FUCK YOU.

I could play the pity card here, but I won't. I knew this was coming, and no one expected the stores to stay open as long as they have -- so I was never expecting the severance pay as an option until just recently.

Still, I am mad as hell.

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//posted by Carl at 9:47 AM | 2 Comments | Links to this post

2007-12-24 - Merry Antmas Eve!


I've heard some people mention that the holidays can be stressful. Without any glimpse of hesitation, I can not only agree with that statement, but I can also feel it in my blood, my bones and my brain.

I've been working at my store for 10 hour shifts, trying to keep a positive outlook -- but having gone through the store-closing process once before, this is no longer an adventure where each day brings something new. Oh no -- I've been here done that, so each day is just another small fraction of the tiny piece of hell that has become the majority of my career as of late.

I guess it's really not all that bad -- I'm more upset that I'm not able to stay. For those of you know me well, you know that I ABSOLUTELY HATE BEING IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING. I love projects, and I love completing them -- but I hate being in the middle of an unknown. When am I done? January? February? GAH!

Oliver has grown so much in the past few months. He's created quite a personality and is learning about possession. It is quite cute.

** MORE ON THIS POST SOON.. I NEED TO GO TO WORK **

//posted by Carl at 7:17 AM | 5 Comments | Links to this post

2007-12-11 - This Sucks...


Well here I am. I'm 32 years old, and I've been steadily rising in the ranks of retail management. For once, I am at a place where I can be financially well-off for in a job that I am comfortable in (well -- comfortable for 10 out of the 12 months.. the holidays suck).

I got my promotion on November 2nd (read here). I have been employed as a "Merchandise Sales Manager" for 34 days before one of the richest men in the world, Carlos Slim, cashed out one of his many empires, which happened to be the place of my employment.

GOD DAMMMMMMMMIT. Wait.. Doesn't this sound familiar? Haven't I already gone through this once before?

Yes. I have. I've already closed one of these stores. I've already gone through the ridiculous amount of wheeling and dealing with various annoying cheapskates while pedaling shitty merchandise. I hated it then, and I am fairly certain I am going to hate it now.

What is driving me nuts more than anything is how, at this company, I have never been stable. Here is the time-line:
  • Oct. 2002: Carl gets job running video game store.
  • Feb. 2007: Carl leaves fun (albeit low-paying) game store to work in greater pastures. Gets job at giant computer store as Asst. Sales Manager. More pay, great bonus opportunities, better benefits, etc. YAY.
  • +4 days: Company closes half of their stores, including the one Carl was just hired in days before. Awesome general manager leaves. Newly promoted sales manager, myself, and warehouse manager forced to manage closing store without a CLUE.
  • +80 days: We suck rocks. Close store. Carl has no new job in sight.
  • +2 days: Carl gets re-hired as "regional" pseudo "manager in training" at new location. N0 benefits, no bonuses, no "home store."
  • +3 weeks: Carl is back with his old boss whom he loves. Takes the good with the bad and makes-do with his half-ass situation.
  • + 65 days: Carl gets temporarily relocated to far-away location. Enjoys 38 - 60 mile commute (depending on babysitting requirements). Begs and pleads to go back to the "home" store. Sucks rocks, again.
  • +35 days: PROMOTION! Carl is back at his home store! Back with his favorite boss! Benefits! Bonuses! Breaths multiple sighs of relief!
  • +?? Carlos Slim closes store. Rinse. Repeat. Retch.
I can choose to be upset.. And frankly, that is an option that is hard to resist considering the swelling ball of white-hot aggression I am feeling towards the lack of caring that big-box retail seems to universally share.

But instead .. I'll take this as pure entertainment .. again.

I think I am going to stop working in the retail field. I love people, I am a great salesperson, and I know it's an easy buck for me to make -- but IT IS NOT WORTH THE STRESS. My plan now is to go down with the ship. The light at the end of this fucked up tunnel is called "Unemployment Compensation." Yay liberal democrats!

I'll chalk all of this up as one of the weirdest years of my life.

What next? I am thinking of trying to brush up on web development again. I know I love to design and code websites -- and I know I am fairly good at it -- but I am as rusty as that Miller Genuine Draft Pontiac driver! LAWLZ. I do know that I will reap the unemployment for a good while as I spend that time restructuring my life. My house is a mess, my emotional foundation isn't very good, and I have a lot of repairing to do. Most importantly, I am going to spend a lot of quality time with my kid. I almost never get to see him and that isn't cool with me.

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//posted by Carl at 11:11 AM | 1 Comments | Links to this post