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A Lot to Talk About
posted on: 2008-08-05 at 7:11:00 PM
Yo.Sooo much to talk about. Where do I start? Well. First, I guess work as been the biggest change in my life. I've been there for about three weeks now, and I think I've got most of the main stuff down. There's a lot to learn being a "geek." It's funny .. Even though it makes perfect sense now, I did not expect my job to be so customer-service oriented. I suppose I thought I was going to be a tech-geek, but in actuality, I'm more of the "front-man" for the computer-surgeons that work in the back. Truth be told, that's where I think I make the biggest impact on the team -- but since I'm not managing anyone but myself, I often bite my tongue.
GAH -- I've already went over this .. but IT IS IN MY BLOOD to "run the show," and be the leader -- the source of inspiration -- the guy's who's job it is to put all the worker's in line and shout the marching orders. I've done it for eight years -- and even though it is counter to how I view myself in the grand scheme of things, I believe it is one of my best workskills.
Of all the things I have to do at work now, the hardest is to have a customer tell me that "they need to speak to a manager" and not address them with the venerable line "this is he."
GAH!! Little secret: I am actually keeping some of the hairier / super-angry issues at bay. Consider it practice.
O.k. moving on: I STUMBLED UPON THE COOLEST FRIGGIN' ALBUM THAT I HAVE HEARD IN MANY YEARS: The artist is named "Sonny J," and the album is called "Disastro." As you could probably decuce, I have been out of the mainstream music scene for a while now (re: kid, old, married, etc.). But being the YouTube whore that I am, I just happened to find this track that is from a U.K. band which sucked me in. The more I listened, the more I loved the few songs I was able to find. I finally found a copy of the album online and once I got it, I was enamored.
The sign that an album is A++ amazing to me is - if through each listening, it either gets better / catchier, or if I hear new things that I missed before. Examples of albums like that are few and far between, DJ Shadow's Endtroducing, Daft Punk's Discovery, Propellerheads' Deckandrumsandrockandroll, etc. I can't get over how freaking amazing each song is. I'm still trying to find more about "Sonny J." I'll keep you posted ^__^
Check out this video which is not the official video -- but way cuter:
Lastly: politics. What the fuck, John Wayne McCain? Are you fucking kidding us? Your first "negative advertisement" compares the fame of Barack Obama to Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears?
(the preceding was an actual attempt to reach McCain and seriously pose the question regarding his current marketing alignment: "what the fuck, mate?")
All kidding aside, this is the slimiest, weirdest, and also the most intelligent move I've seen a presidential candidate take. He's going to win over many thousands (tens of thousands?) of mindless, hopeless, wandering American Lemmings in this wake. Eat it up, America. This is the most important election in many decades.
(the preceding was an actual attempt to reach stupid Americans and seriously pose the question regarding their ability to actually be critical thinkers: "what the fuck, mates?")
The question I would like to pose is this: "Mr. McCain, if you seriously are comparing Barrack Obama's fame to that of Spears and Hilton, then don't you think that the comparison (BASED ON POPULARITY) is actually in the favor of Obama?" Both Spears and Hilton have affected many millions of Americans! So .. if you intend to project fame as a negative thing, you're actually attempting to dethrone those who have already created a stable and successful market-base for the notion that you have a chance at winning over the hearts of those who are swayed by fame and fortune...
MASSIVE FAIL.
Also, I must admit that the idea that McCain claims that "experience" is important when running for president fails on two fronts:
1) Those whose heads have not been deeply implanted in their own arses for the past seven years realize that "experience" means dick all.
2) Maybe it's time to realize that "experience" is what is causing most of the problems that we Americans are experiencing lately -- and that a fresh face with intelligent ideals and a cabinet of "experienced" staff might actually be the answer to MOST AMERICAN'S PROBLEMS.
I ended this on a political note. Goddammit.
posted by Carl
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Hard Sell
posted on: 2008-07-26 at 9:22:00 AM
I have so much to talk about: Camping, Family trip to the coast, my crazy-ass parents, etc. Really -- I will catch you all up. I have a short day today at work -- so when I get back home, I'll update this blog and also add pics and videos. W00t.But as I feared, the most prominent event in my life has to be the "Hard Sell," which I saw last night. DJ Shadow and Cut Chemist freaking owned my soul. They played a two-hour set of music entirely from 45rpm records with tons of sampling / looping / effecting / etc.
As some of you may know -- my house is set up a bit like that (also, as you can see from my YouTube videos). They were spot-on and the show was intense. They were speaking to me. It was the best recharge I've had in years.
Anywho -- off to work.
posted by Carl
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I am a GEEK! (among other things)
posted on: 2008-07-11 at 7:43:00 PM
So yeah. I got a job. I FINALLY got a job. It only took five months. I am now a "Geek."
I am no longer living the life of a "stay-at-home-dad." I was starting to think that I was going to grow large feminine hips from the constant kid-dangling. I was getting sick of daytime television-- my missing Bob Barker as the host of "The Price is Right" was becoming a thorn in my daily routine. I have become very much aware that "If they pre-qualify me for a personal mobility device at the Scooter Store, and for any reason I am denied -- they will provide the Scooter at no cost to me." I am done with "Judge Mathis," "Rachel Ray," "Ellen," "THE (fucking) VIEW." Oh dear sweet Jesus, "The View" is the most annoying show .. of all time. My not owning firearms is a good thing. I am done with the lack of social interaction.
I was beginning to get worried that I was a little too friendly with the local strung-out single-mom-with-five-overweight-yet-undernourished-children-who-use-food-stamps-to-purchase-chocolate-milk-and-Twizzlers crowd at the old Safeway store on 82nd / SE Burnside. THANK GOD I NO LONGER HAVE THAT BURDEN -- moving along.
As I said, I am now a "Geek."
I am working at yet another big-box computer / appliance / entertainment retail store as a customer service technician / technology guru. I have now worked two full days. It's actually quite fun! I like my coworkers and my boss seems really nice. However, this is a total trip for me...
Having been a retail manager for the past seven years. It is extremely difficult for me to wrap my head around being responsible for one soul (myself). My radar isn't that small anymore! I have to keep my lips pursed -- I can't say "HEY STOP THAT!" or provide the good old-fashioned POP (Positive Opportunity Positive) on a hapless soul.
GRRRRR!! I need to tone it down and stop worrying. If I do not, I am going to be "that guy."
I opted for this job over another management job because of Oliver -- and because for the first time in many years (decades) -- I crave OPTIONS. I really don't know what my future holds. I think want another management job within the same company (apparently, those avenues exist readily) -- but I can take my time.
Currently the pay is marginal and the work is unsatisfying .. but if I keep taking my Adderall and keep my thoughts and opinions to myself -- I might find a much more rewarding avenue in 3 - 4 months?
Speaking of Oliver... He turned 18 months less than two days ago. All of the literature that Angie and I have been pouring over says that 18 months is the milestone where little ones should start walking. WELL.... HE STARTED WALKING TODAY. Yay!!! He totally cranked that Soulja Boy.
Fitty was proud -- but laid the smack down on da streets, yo. If you are not a close friend it won't make sense (video soon to come).
posted by Carl
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Morning Television
posted on: 2008-07-01 at 10:46:00 AM
- The "Sea Bond" adhesive commercial physically hurts me [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkC-q0_4gw8 ]
- Wilford Brimley used to look normal (like, back in the day when he pedaled oatmeal ... SNIFFFFFF .. SNIFFERIFIC) -- but now he looks like a pale walrus with a menacing scowl that could peel the chrome off a hitch-ball. When he talks, the only word I hear is "Diabetes," except it sounds like "Diahbeetus--" the rest is just deep gravely incoherent babble
- If the last guy who bids on the "Price is Right" thinks the item up for bids is more expensive than the previous three bidders -- ALWAYS bid one dollar over the highest bid. For twenty-five years, I've watched thousands of people fuck this one up -- speaking of the "Price is Right," why is Plinko the most exciting game? I've never seen anyone win a significant amount of money. Next to the $10,000 jackpot are $0 -- also $100, and $500. "You can win up to $50,000" is a goddamned pipe-dream, statistically
- The "Hover'ound" electric chair is not as awesome as they tout
- Betty White hasn't aged in over 30 years -- and is it sick that I sometimes fantasize about her?
- This one might only apply to me / my television -- but when I put "Teletubbies" on for Oliver to watch -- there's this skittering pattern on the left edge of the picture. It looks like a barcode transmission. I think it is programming Oliver's brain. Maybe "TUBBYCUSTARD" will be on the market soon. Great
posted by Carl
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Stolen ATMs and a Trip to the E.R.
posted on: 2008-06-20 at 7:21:00 PM
This has truly been one of the strangest weeks I've experienced in a long time.Monday was setting up nicely, my good friend Erin was visiting her family from Hawaii, and we had planned a morning date to catch up and to show off our kids (where mine is seventeen months and hers has gestated for just over twelve weeks). I was really looking forward to sharing stories of pregnancy, and babies in general. Also, I just wanted to catch up. She is an exceptional woman. Plans got changed, so I ended up spending most of my Monday working on various projects around the house .
So we shot for Tuesday. The plan was for me to pick her up from Gresham (which is like 20 miles from where I live). I went out that morning to grab some breakfast when I realized the grinding sound the brakes on my car were making stopped being annoying -- and started being impossibly horrific. Not only were the brakes scaring bystanders within a block radius, the car couldn't stop without my compensating steering left. Yikes. It sounded like something was tearing through metal. Needless to say, plans changed as I limped over to my mom and dad's w/ Oliver in-tow.
As most Ford Focus owners are aware, their brakes suck. My dad is an engineer / car expert so I always admire his help when I have something to do that involves removing pieces of my car.
As we start to work on the car, the local news van pulls up and asks to interview my dad. The short version is this: Thieves stole an ATM, broke it open, stole the cash, and dumped it in my parent's back yard. WTF? The news had done a report about it the night before, but only video-taped shots of the yard and the ATM -- no interviews. Today, they wanted to get dad on camera and ask a few questions. The rest is history:
So, $90 a news interview, and a few hours of being a grease monkey later, my car has fresh new brakes, a repaired tail light, and a repaired rear seat-belt locking mechanism. The inner Hamm's drinking car mechanic in me was happy (but also broke).
Next day -- everything seems fine. Oliver has been a little terror, however. He WILL NOT go down for his naps without screaming like a rabid hyena. Thank goodness for visual baby-monitors, headphones, and internet radio. About 4pm, I get a call from my brother-in-law, Paul. He was a little "off" to say the least -- but I gathered something happened that involved a table saw and his thumb. I live fairly close by, so I figured it would take him to the E.R. I grabbed the kidd-o, some food and a few toys and headed out. When I got to his house, my sister had just arrived from work, so the four of us were able to make it to the hospital pretty quickly.
Paul was admitted and taken to a room. He cut his thumb pretty badly, and was in a LOT of pain. Oliver fared well. He was boisterous throughout the stay, but overall behaved admirably -- and accepted stickers from a female nurse named Mercedes (who, by the way has never seen License to Drive -- which for a girl with her name to have never seen is a sin in my book).We all left. Paul's thumb was damaged pretty heavily, but whose prognosis is good. They stapled it back shut and said it should fully heal and be functional.
In other news: I'm still jobless -- but I have a great lead that I am pretty sure will become my new career here shortly. I won't speak much about it until it actually happens. Karma can be a bitch sometimes.
posted by Carl
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