//blog/the archives
Morning Television
posted on: 2008-07-01 at 10:46:00 AM
- The "Sea Bond" adhesive commercial physically hurts me [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkC-q0_4gw8 ]
- Wilford Brimley used to look normal (like, back in the day when he pedaled oatmeal ... SNIFFFFFF .. SNIFFERIFIC) -- but now he looks like a pale walrus with a menacing scowl that could peel the chrome off a hitch-ball. When he talks, the only word I hear is "Diabetes," except it sounds like "Diahbeetus--" the rest is just deep gravely incoherent babble
- If the last guy who bids on the "Price is Right" thinks the item up for bids is more expensive than the previous three bidders -- ALWAYS bid one dollar over the highest bid. For twenty-five years, I've watched thousands of people fuck this one up -- speaking of the "Price is Right," why is Plinko the most exciting game? I've never seen anyone win a significant amount of money. Next to the $10,000 jackpot are $0 -- also $100, and $500. "You can win up to $50,000" is a goddamned pipe-dream, statistically
- The "Hover'ound" electric chair is not as awesome as they tout
- Betty White hasn't aged in over 30 years -- and is it sick that I sometimes fantasize about her?
- This one might only apply to me / my television -- but when I put "Teletubbies" on for Oliver to watch -- there's this skittering pattern on the left edge of the picture. It looks like a barcode transmission. I think it is programming Oliver's brain. Maybe "TUBBYCUSTARD" will be on the market soon. Great
posted by Carl
3 Comments: [ Post a comment ]
Danae said...
Haha!! You are hilarious! Man, I love your humor. I haven't even finished this post yet. But I couldn't wait to reply.
Posted: July 2, 2008 7:05 AM
Danae said...
haha. okay, i finished it. betty white. wow. well, one guy told me once, sometimes it doesn't matter what a woman looks like or how old she is. he can still have thoughts.
but please STOP THAT. :)
woo haa!!
Posted: July 2, 2008 7:08 AM
said...
I also fantasize about Betty White.
Sometimes I throw in Bea Arthur just to make things really interesting.
Posted: July 2, 2008 1:06 PM
Subscribe!
